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Friday, August 14, 2009

life's a school of hardknocks....

yup...a few weeks ago things hasn't turn out that well for me...i have to admit...and of course i wont lie here...i'm sad,im angry,i'm hurt,i'm mad,i'm dissapointed...i feel dumb,i feel used,i feel like a total bullshit,i feel like i was unfairly treated and taken for granted......BUT...it doesn't mean that i'll give up......life is hard but then again nobody ever promised of it being easy or fair...

just that wanna do some self expression here....you know to let things out...i don't really tell my problems specifically to people....just not me to dwell on problems...i talk about it though but not ALL about it...it's good enough to tell just one person that i trust....the you in my blog here in case u get confuse later on refers to a lot of people....it'll be a secret of course....

thing is...just because i don't say anything doesn't mean that i'm okay,just because u thought i don't know doesn't mean that i really don't know...u might think that by deleting something ,it can cover up whatever it is that u said....too bad...i saw what i saw...and it hurts...those words hurt...though i forgive u hurt...i have to admit....u took me for granted...u didn't appreciate me.it was me all along who stood by you when you needed that shoulder....it was me who constantly gave u hugs whenever u had a gloomy day...i was there for u when u needed me...even when i'm having troubles myself,i sacrificed my time and i listened to you...

just because i'm nice or i act okay doesn't mean that i agree with everything you do...there are things that i disagree but at the end of the day,i never made a fuss about it...coz its your life...i have no rights...its none of my business....but i'm tired of u always thinking that ur the only one who's having problems...u can't always expect people to understand you everytym especially when u don't do as you say... people get tired u noe...coz they helped you but you don't seem to...and what more u talked bad bout those people too..in case u've forgotten,it was those people that you turn to when u feel lonely ,when all the fun for yourself's gone ..i mean you can let it out alrite...but cursing and wishing them bad...that's really being unthankful...i'm not saying i'm a saint either...but to find out you doing that...fooh...

and what more when people wanted to have time for themselves ... you just couldn't accept it do you...i mean people need time on their own too...can't always be about you everyday...gimme a break okay...i noe i'm like the big sister around...but u have to remeber too...that i ,like u people jugak am only 19...i get confuse ,i experience this identity crisis thinging too....soo just because i'm a little bit matured or am tolerant..u can't always think that i'll behave that way all the tym...yes that's me...but even this me has her ups and downs...

and you,haih...just because nothing is said doesn't mean that nothing is happening...how could you say it that just like that...as if nothing ever happened....i guess you just don't noe me...u dun really take time to noe me properly pun...if only you knew the real me....none of this would ever happen pun...but its not totally your fault i noe...just dat words hurt a thousand tyms more than actions to me...coz i dont forget easily..and what you do for me...it tells a lot too...it's ok...one day u'll noe...i wish you well though...

i guess enough of that....here i'd like to make a special thanks to you people who've stood by me...believed in me...supported me...listened to me for hours though we were just strangers who happened to be in the same place once upon a time....
and you who cooked for me,you who let me bug your life for no reason n can still smile back at me anytym i smiled haha...thanks for that...and you who acted like a big bro for me...and you a sister for me...and you who told me stories of trojan and helen of troy...those greek mythologies that i never read n only heard of(haha coz my comp had 1 dat day)...you who wouldn't let me read certain books just to avoid me from being sad(aww...dun worry,i'm big enuf to handle that k=P)...you who took tym to say hi in the morning....you ,out of the blue remembered me....finally all the you who made me smile or was just simply there for me....THANK YOU...there's nothing more than i can ask for.....may you be blessed always..

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